I'm waiting for my moment to come

I'm back from my holiday and have been for a while now, I just never feel in the mood to post anything. Truth be told I am never in the mood to do anything these days, I just feel drained most of the time. I spend most of days just sleeping or staring at this computer screen. Everyone has this busy activity filled summer holidays and I always seem to spend mine doing absolutely nothing. Though I'm too broke to do much seeing as I'm not working again, well that's a lie I have a separate account which has a couple thousand but that's for a new camera or a trip to Europe or South America.

I feel a little lost right now, I feel like I've finally come to terms with who I am but apart of me is still fighting it; forever living in a dream world where dreams are reality. I've got a circle of friends that mean the world to me but at times I feel a little upset at how little time they have for me and how I always have to organise get togethers, it's more like a convenient friendship to them at times. I look at my camera at times and get angry with myself cause I have this dSLR that people I know wish they had but I can't be fucked to use it or even learn how to use it properly and all it's different aspects.

I might go for a walk one day when it's not so hot or raining to clear my head out and find some inspiration that I'm lacking in life. I need to be inspired to live again, cause right now I've just accepted life to be life and that it should be lived and maybe that's why my life has become so mundane. I may just take a random bus trip around the city and photograph everything. I have to learn to be independent and not rely on my friends so much. Maybe my resolution for the year is to become my own person and really find myself.

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